Writing
Dating is hard. Most advice about it is worse.
Notes on the parts people actually struggle with — anxiety, first dates, the apps, and what to say. Written the way Pair talks: honestly, and without pretending any of it is simple.
Life after the swipe feed
Deleting the dating apps: how to tell if it is the right call
A clear way to tell whether deleting the dating apps is avoidance or good judgment, what usually happens afterwards, and how to keep meeting people once they are gone.
4 min read
Dating app fatigue is not a willpower problem
Why dating apps leave you exhausted, what the design has to do with it, and what actually helps — beyond “just take a break”.
4 min read
Anxiety & readiness
Dating anxiety: why it happens and what actually helps
Dating anxiety is not a character flaw or something to push through. Here is what is happening underneath it, and the things that genuinely reduce it.
5 min read
Why dating is so hard right now
Dating genuinely is harder than it was, and not because you are doing it wrong. What actually changed, and what still works.
4 min read
How to not be nervous on a date
You cannot talk yourself out of nerves, but you can change what your body is reacting to. What works before, during and after a date.
4 min read
Am I ready to date again?
A straight way to tell whether you are ready to date again — including the signs that you are dating to fill a gap rather than because you want to.
4 min read
Dating after a breakup, without repeating it
When to start dating after a breakup, how to tell a rebound from readiness, and how to avoid carrying the last relationship into the next one.
4 min read
First dates
First date tips that actually calm you down
Practical first date tips for the hour before, the date itself, and the walk home — written for people who get nervous, not for people who want to “win” the date.
7 min read
First date conversation starters that are not small talk
Questions that actually open a first date up, grouped by how much they ask of the other person — plus the ones to avoid and why.
3 min read
Texting & conversation
How to keep a conversation going without it feeling like work
Conversations die for predictable reasons. Here is what actually keeps one alive — in person and over text — without interview questions or rehearsed stories.
4 min read
What to text after a first date
What to send after a first date if you want a second one, how soon to send it, and how to say no kindly — with examples you can actually use.
3 min read
11 pieces so far. More every week.